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Every time (media.piefed.zip)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/microblogmemes@lemmy.world
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Every time
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[–] 6 points 3 months ago (5 children)

Oh there is no point fighting with her. She is too dumb/insane/narcissistic to admit she's wrong about something.

One time she was going through chemo and she was running a fever of 38c but was refusing to go to the ER. After a couple hours I decided I needed to just force her. So I basically pushed her into the car and drove to the ER. Typical waits here are 10-15 hours but she was at 39c when I got her there, she was in a room and hooked to IV antibiotics within 5 minutes. She was on the brink of sepsis. She stayed in a quarantined unit for a week after that, I brought her food everyday and played board games with her. When I finally brought her home she told me that I never help her and that I'm not a good son. That's probably the closest I've come to killing someone.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    That sucks. I have a narcissistic parent, and in my case my resilience and the overall relationship balance is such that I'm better off cutting ties. It looks like overall you can shield yourself so that the relationship remains a net positive for you. That sounds like a silver lining, but I'm happy for you that you have it.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago* (3 children)

    I'm definitely better off no contact with her but I'm the only family she has in this country and unfortunately, I didn't inherit her callousness. In fact it's made me hypervigilant of suffering so I had some stupid need to help her. I honestly could have let her die in at least 4 situations in the past 6 years and she's just as ungrateful each time.

    When covid started, for whatever reason, she started cleaning everything with 2 spray bottles that she put cleaners in. One contained bleach and the other had ammonia. The time I caught her doing it she was "cleaning" the bathroom with the window and door closed. I walked past the bathroom and could smell the chemicals. I told her you're gassing yourself to death by mixing those and her response was "IT'S IN 2 DIFFERENT BOTTLES, THEY AREN'T MIXING". I had to explain to her that when she sprays one then the other one on top, as she was doing, it's literally mixing right in front of you. She storms off in silence.

    Sorry for trauma dumping so hard but man, shit is annoying af.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Nah, I invited it. Dump away. You know you could have let her pass out from it and then drag her to a ventilated place without much risk? She'd have quite a headache, but likely the illusion of control of your life would crack.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    I'm no medical professional so I wouldn't take that chance with someone's life lol even if I pulled her out and she suffered some short term consequences, she'd be blaming it all on me. It's my fault I didn't stop her earlier, it's my fault I didn't pull her out earlier, it's my fault that the bathroom needs to be cleaned, in fact, it's my fault that COVID exists.

    You really can't win against someone who's brain doesn't actually work. Her mentality in life is that everything that goes wrong is my fault, everything that goes right is because of her, and since I'm younger than her, it means she's always right.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    Why would ever contradict her? "It's your fault!" "Yes. I did it. I poisoned you." "Don't mock me!" "I'm not. I really did poison you." "..." "..."

    Her blaming you is like a kid that keeps asking "why?", but a lot less wholesome. She wants engagement. Don't give it. Do not bicker, do not engage in good faith dialogue (she isn't), just go "yup", "that's right", "um-hum", "you're right". And when you eventually had enough, get up, leave, don't acknowledge that you're leaving or say goodbye. And absolutely, do not ever pick up the phone from her, ever. There really is no situation in which picking up that call will leave you better than before.

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