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Musicians, what is your relationship to audiences? Do you have one? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/asklemmy@sh.itjust.works
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Music has been a huge part of me getting better mentally the past few years, but I've found pretty much nobody is that interested in hearing me play, and I've further noticed that nobody is interested in hearing anyone play anything outside of music they've already heard a gajillion times the exact way they've heard it a gajillion times, and that does not interest me at all.

Doesn't hurt that I play mostly French and Spanish songs in the United States (guitar, naturally).

I've been to a few open mics. The "best" one was just really cliquey. Another one was really isolated was just heartbreakingly isolated--that is, people would sit at their tables, go up and play, and then sit down again alone at the tables, and maybe someone might come up and say, "nice set." Why bother?

I also haven't run into much possibility for collaboration. Everyone once in a while, I might run into sax player, but basically everyone is playing guitar or maybe keyboard and just wants to play and sing solo, unless they're dating someone that wants to sing. I keep dabbling in clarinet and lap steel just so I can eventually have something else to offer musically, but don´t know who would take me up on it.

Music used to be a social pursuit, I understand, but I'm kinda coming to grips with it being an almost absolutely solitary pursuit at this point. Like, I don't think about performing anymore, I just play for myself, and it just makes me a little bit sad.

Any ideas or suggestions?

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[–] 7 points 3 months ago (5 children)

I used to tour a lot when I was younger. The people I toured with used to play in another quite well known band before they split from their old band and started a new project. Needless to say that they already had a loyal fanbase waiting for them after they announced their departure from their old band. I was the only new member, never played live before, pretty inexperienced, and I knew no one of the other bands we toured with while all my band members were already friends with some of them and on very good terms.

I experienced stage fright before every concert and just focused on not trying to screw up on stage, ignoring the audience entirely. Until our lead singer took me incognito into the crowd of some bands who played after we did. No more make up, last row, people still recognised us, told us how much they enjoyed our gig that night, and then I understood they did like us a lot and that boosted my self-confidence quite a bit.

From then on I enjoyed chatting with fans online, but at gigs I still kept to myself. Mainly due to anxiety issues and chronic depression, but I openly spoke about it during an interview and pretty much all fans respected that. Afterwards it was only a thumbs up, a smile, a pat on the back from them when I went on stage and I loved that, knowing they understood my situation.

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Yeah, well, I think for bands it's more specifically that people are coming to hear you play, so that's good even if you hear zilch from them--they showed up and that's something.

    Wish I didn't suck so much musically. People hear me play, think I sound good, then want me to get together with a drummer and a bassist to jam and I literally have no fucking idea what to do. I hate it and so I avoid that shit as much as possible.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago* (3 children)

    People hear me play, think I sound good, then want me to get together with a drummer and a bassist to jam and I literally have no fucking idea what to do.

    So yes, that's a skill you need to work on, playing with others. It's quite a bit different from playing solo.

    But, if the guys with experience playing in a band are telling you that you're doing well and you'll be totally fine when you improve a little, then trust them! You don't have the experience, they do -- it's totally normal because you just don't know that much about it yet to have a different conclusion than them. T

    That's where you have to swallow your ego and tell yourself "these guys know what it takes to succeed in a band, and they see it in me! I have little experience with a band, so the fact that I can't see what will make me successful is totally logical and to be expected. But the guys with the experience do see it, and I should trust them."

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    Yeah, no, I think they were just crazy. My ear isn´t where it needs to be for me to feel comfortable, and I'm just not very creative musically... it happened once and it was such a horrible experience I don't want to do it again until I feel like I have something to offer. And it's easy enough to know when--if I can just noodle on my own or to a backing track alone, for instance, something that is deffos NOT part of my current routine. And when I can hear chords a little better than I can now. Still running to chord sheets for almost any song outside of I IV V7 and sometimes even then.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Fair enough -- i will say im reminded of this victor wooten video where he had a student who was only trained to play off sheet music and wasn't creative didn't know how to improvise. Wooten told him, "just play it wrong, like just play what you feel like playing and if it's wrong that's fine this is just an exercise."

    And that was what the student needed to become a better musician.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

    Yup! I think that's great advice; start with the music in your head. I sometimes try to sing a line before I play it, to make sure I'm playing music and not just muscle memorying scales and arpeggios.

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