A great place to start is recognizing your own responsibility and recognizing that despite the fact that you find rape abhorrent, you have likely done it without knowing.
Recognizing that is a good first step.
I remember having this same conversation with my husband years ago and seeing how disgusted he felt with himself when he realized that pestering his highschool girlfriend until her "not right now" turned into a "sure okay" was, in fact, rape.
Realizing that good people are capable of rape, and that we are human, and that consent matters above all else is a place to start.
Realizing that even when a woman says "asking for consent ruins the mood" that she is internalizing rape culture and that it doesn't mean you should stop asking tor consent is a place to start.
Fuck, I used to say that when I was young and stupid, and I realize now that I was wrong and absolutely internalized rape culture. I now think asking for consent is very sexy now that it's recontextualized.
A good place to start is reflecting and recognizing all the ways you have perpetuated rape culture in your life.
Do not assume that you haven't, because you have. You may not have intended to, but we all have perpetuated it.
You are not exempt from this and assuming we are innocent is what keeps us from progress.