be 84 years old

Get CPR chest compressions 3 weeks ago

84 years old ribs are now named variations of snap, crackle, and pop

Post picture taken a month after my wife left for China (she hasn't come back yet) while I'm still in hospital with her next to me.

I'm somehow sitting upright and not scowling in agony due to my thorax being thousands of bone shards

These fucking idiots will believe anything

Is what I would have thought if I were still alive