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FIFA confirm USA goals to count double for remainder of World Cup tournament (newsthump.com)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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[–] 35 points 4 months ago (4 children)

What World Cup soccer really needs is to be more like quidditch from Harry Potter. In quidditch, they have a golden snitch, and catching it ends the game and immediately awards that team the equivalent of 15 goals.

Only, instead of a golden snitch, they have FIFA president Gianni Infantino, and instead of catching him, they just have the country leaders of the respective teams try to call Infantino on the phone. And whoever he decides to answer, their team gets 15 goals and the game instantly ends.

Just like in Harry Potter, quidditch was made to make Harry Potter the only important person, this new rule would make Donald Trump and Gianni Infantino the only important people in soccer.

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  • [–] 24 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Man, Quidditch is such a garbage theoretical game lol

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  • [–] 22 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I remember from the first time I read about the golden snitch in the books, I was like, "Oh, fuck off."

    The worst part is that the game is a legitimate game if you just take the snitch out and add time periods. It's flying soccer where there are additional magic balls trying to knock the shit out of everybody.

    That means that Rowling knew what she was doing. She created a real game, and then ruined it on purpose.

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    We need two foals that will absolutely RAM into everyone and four foal controllers with hay and a makeshift saddle on each team

    and the snitch can be a jumping spider

    the seeker was created so the sport wasnt actually just dominated by beefcakes and gymbros but had actual strategy

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