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It has been 0 days since I last had this conversation (lemmy.ml)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
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Manager: We (meaning you) need to do task A. How long will it take?

Me: Task A will take X days to do.

Manager: That seems awful long.

Me: How long do you think it should take?

Manager: It surely could not take any longer than Y days.

Me: Ok, it seems you have an answer to your question then.

Later:

Manager: It’s been Y days, why isn’t task A done yet?

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[–] 120 points 4 months ago (8 children)

Fun fact, you can play tough too.

Manager: We (meaning you) need to do task A. How long will it take?

Me: Task A will take X days to do.

Manager: That seems awful long.

Me: How long do you think it should take?

Manager: It surely could not take any longer than Y days.

Me: Ok, which features are you willing to remove to make it fit in this timeframe?

It's surprisingly effective, especially with a bit of seniority.

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  • [–] 37 points 4 months ago*

    Regardless of how effective it is at managing expectations, my reality is:

    Mgt: We need A within Y days.

    Stf: A will take X (>>Y) days, A/2 can be ready in Y days.

    Mgt: O.K., give us A/2 in Y days.

    Y/2 days elapses.

    Mgt: In addition to A/2, please add B, C and D to the deliverable.

    Stf: You realize, that's going to take an extra 2X days to deliver.

    Mgt: yes, but we absolutely need B. C and D, whatever it takes, as soon as possible, don't waste time releasing A/2, bundle them all together for efficiency.

    Stf: Coming up.

    3X/2 days elapse.

    Mgt: you know B, C, and D that we asked for? Actually, what we need are D, E and F.

    Stf: well, we've finished A/2, B and half of C. When do you need D, E and F.

    Mgt: ASAP, put C on the shelf.

    X more days elapse.

    Stf: here's A/2, B and D, how do they look?

    Mgt: You know, the full A would be better... but E and G are our absolute top priorities....

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  • [–] 17 points 4 months ago (4 children)

    I like "Y days? How are you doing it so it takes less than X?"

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  • [–] 13 points 4 months ago* (3 children)

    Oh nice one.

    You can also add another layer by adding "you know that [infrastructure requirement] from [notoriously uncooperative infrastructure team] is gonna take at least Z days right?", and if it isn't enough, go for the kill shot "I'm gonna start writing the architecture principles this sprint, getting back to you as soon as they are cleared by [notoriously picky and detail obsessive software architect].".

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  • [–] 4 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Made me want to become that notorious software architect, just to be the reason that "X is going to take Y days. Want faster? Change your fucking expectations/scope of X"

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  • [–] 3 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    It's nice having that kind of pull/weight to throw around, but sometimes the boss still won't listen. Different industry, we had a major change in tax law happen. I read about it, figured out how to do it, then told the boss that we needed to start now training the company on the new method because it would take a year for us to catch up.

    His response was to ignore it, because "congress is going to undo the law". I left for another firm, precisely because I didn't want to be in charge of the last minute project he'd assign with a month to go on a hard legal deadline. Got a phone call about two weeks before the deadline. Fortunately it went to voicemail because I couldn't stop laughing for like half an hour.

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago

    Haha! Yeah, I do this with requirements creep:

    • Can you also compete task C while you're there?
    • Sure! In this timeframe which features are you prepared to sacrifice to make it happen?
    • ...I'll think about it

    Works every time!

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