Buy a pot. Buy some soil. Buy some seeds.

Put one thing in the other, you may have to experiment in which order they go. I found that pot - soil - seed worked best for me.

You sound like you suffer from decision paralysis. You need to get started with something, anything. In a few seasons you'll learn. If you expect the apocalypse to happen sooner than a few years my strategy would be to run towards the mushroom cloud. You can't rush this.