To do what, exactly?

“Boss, I came up with a brilliant plan! We’re going to release a virus that mildly inconveniences a lot of people! It’ll clog hospitals in random parts of the world for a couple weeks at a time, kill a small percentage of people, and maybe even strand a single cruise ship! We’ll of course have no control over where it goes or how it mutates, and there will probably be an effective vaccine within a year.”

“Ok, Ted, that certainly sounds like a thing we could do, but FUCKING WHY?”

If you’re going to come up with a big scary government story, you need to include the part where the big scary government had an actual plan.

I already know the response: “I’m not saying this is actually the case. I’m just thinking it, out loud, in your general direction. And yeah, l totally believe it and I literally did just say it, but I also just said I didn’t say it so if anyone points out the obvious I can try to save face, mmk?”