Nothing. I'm not spiritual, though I do sort of believe some things like that in a non-literal fashion. I don't believe I am part of some sort of unity, though I would say that yeah in an abstract sense I am just a complex multi-cellular organism and in most cases cooperation with other multi-cellular organisms is preferred. With the systems how they are now though, I am not participating (even if it is to my own detriment).

Design? It would require a bunch things that likely won't happen in my lifetime. Basically a transhumanist re-do. Get my brain somewhere and somewhen better, get it going again ideally with a mix of symbiosis+tech that allows existing comfortably. This could take a lot of forms too (many that others would find too alien/isolated), though not too hopeful about the future and that I could actually have a place in it.