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Does this relate to you? (piefed.cdn.blahaj.zone)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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[–] 44 points 4 months ago (5 children)

That's me... We are 3 siblings. I was "the good one". I was always responsible and dependable and they always said that "I grew myself up" because they never needed to care about me.

Fast forward to the present, my relationship with my parents is basically them being two complete strangers to me. They never cared about me so I never developed any kind of bound with them to the point that I don't hate them, I simply don't care about them more than I care about a stranger.

Apparently, this makes me the bad person because "you should love your parents".

Well excuse me if I am autistic so my way of loving is different to yours and on top of that, you made me grow up thinking that a parent is just the figure you live with for your childhood with no actual bound.

If, according to them, I grew up being so well behaved that they never had to praise me or tell me I was loved or I was a good kid... what the hell do you expect from me now?

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  • [–] 8 points 4 months ago

    I'm not even autistic, and I'm also stuggling to keep in touch with my parents because we never talked, on the account of both of them being programmers.

    It's not that we don't have a good relationship, or don't want to keep in touch, it's just that we never really talked, all spending our time at our PCs most of my childhood, and now I simply struggle to keep in touch with anyone, even with people I want to be in contact with. I never had to message or call someone, and I'm too anxious to do that, so I simply never do it, unless someone contacts me first.

    It sucks, but I'm slowly learning to break out of that. Still, I see my parents only like twice a year, since christmass and birthdays are the only time they contact me.

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  • [–] 5 points 4 months ago

    Apparently, this makes me the bad person because "you should love your parents".

    I hear this so often from people with shitty unlovable parents and always feel the need to counter it.

    Hopefully you know this already, but that definitely does NOT make you a bad person. Not every parent deserves their child's love and a bad parent/child relationship is, most of the time, the fault of the parent.

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