this post was submitted on 30 May 2026

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How to you feel about using autism as a joking synonym for "dumb" or "awkward"? (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 5 months ago by Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/autism@lemmy.world

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I have been struggling with this because a lot of people around me use it in this manner when they do something dumb or they act in an awkward way and they'll be like "oh, that was autistic of me" or "I've got the tism" and I always feel so uncomfortable but I also don't know how to raise it or what to say. I am myself not diagnosed, but I'm pretty sure I am on the spectrum. I was just wondering what you think of it and how you handle it.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 4 points 5 months ago (19 children)

We told people not to use "retarded" and "schizo" as insults, so now they use "autistic" and "narcissistic". They didn't become better people, they just got pressured into changing their behaviour.

Maybe one day we'll pressure them out of all the slurs.

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[–] JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz 4 points 5 months ago

Well, I just call that concentration camp fetish. And most people see minorities exactly that way.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago (17 children)

How is narcissist a slur?

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net -1 points 5 months ago* (16 children)

It comes from a mental disorder, narcissistic personality disorder. A lot of people don't know that. Some people think it comes directly from the Greek child who was killed by the gods for not wanting to get married, but that's a false etymology. It passed through psychiatry in between those points, and you can tell from the way it's spelled.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago* (15 children)

No, it comes from Narcisuss. The word predates NPD by almost a hundred years.

But even if it did come from NPD, it still an objectively negative trait worthy of admonishment. It's not a slur to describe someone's persistent selfishness as narcissistic. It's the definition of the word.

[Edit] it's as much as a slur as using "psychopath" to describe someone who kills squirrels for fun

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net -1 points 5 months ago (14 children)

As that Wikipedia link points out, the version of the word based primarily on the Greek child who didn't want sex is "Narcismus". The -ist suffix is distinctly un-Greek, and comes much later than Lord Byron.

It's interesting that you point out the word "ps*chopath", which is Greek for "suffering soul" and is often used to attack people with ASPD. I can understand why people in the 1800s would hate those whose souls suffer, and those who are like Narcissus. But surely in 2026, you've grown out of such queerphobia and ableism?

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (13 children)

"Narcissist" to describe selfishness is from the 1800s. NPD is from the 1980s.

Surely in 2026, you've seen what narcissism had done to the world.

No, I will continue calling our narcissistic and psychopathic behavior for what it is. I will also not be showing any empathy for who, by definition, don't show any themselves.

Not all mental illnesses deserve our collective support. Comparing it to LGBT people is insane (is insane a slur, too?) and insulting. The closest comparison - and I think this is a stretch - is addiction.

It's just wild to me that you're defending narcissism in any capacity.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net -2 points 5 months ago (12 children)

Narcissus of Greek mythology is literally queer, I'm not comparing anything. Nemesis made him fall in love with his reflection because he didn't want to marry or have sex.

Ameinias was sexually harassing a 16 year old, and that child told him to go commit die, as teenagers often do when they're harassed by a bully. Ameinias decides to actually do it, and prays to Nemesis for revenge. He says "Though he should love, let him not have what he loves", so Nemesis made him fall in love with his reflection. It was a divine punishment for not wanting any fucc.

I think you're aphobic because you read this myth, and decided to side against the queer kid who was harassed and killed.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 3 points 5 months ago (11 children)

You are conflating so many things right now. For someone who keeps harping on the original myths, you sure seem ignorant to the fact that pretty much everyone in Greek mythology is bi. Siding against anyone in any Greek myth usually means you're "against" someone queer.

You are stretching SO hard to call me queerphobic while ignoring both the classical and modern definitions of the word. It's akin to saying I hate vegans because I talk shit about Hitler.

Narcissists and psychopaths are not oppressed minorities. Insulting them is always punching up.

Do you have a horse in this race or something?

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net -2 points 5 months ago (10 children)

It's not that he's ace and you happen not to like him. It's that it seems like you specifically don't like him because he's ace. At best, you're victim blaming him for having been killed.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (9 children)

Victim blaming? This sounds like an early 2010s Tumblr caricature as depicted by an alt-right influencer that 99.99% of the left would call an invented strawman. It is beyond parody.

I'm having such a hard time believing anyone would defend narcissists that I'm convinced you're just trolling me or you're a narcissist yourself.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net -1 points 5 months ago* (8 children)

People have been making fun of that dead boy for two thousand years and I'm sick of it. He didn't do anything wrong, he just lived in an aphobic society. I'm asexual and I'm sick to FUCK of seeing people like you walking around with an ancient Greek person's moral compass when it comes to asexuality. He didn't abuse anyone, he just wanted to be single. Why do so many people over two thousand years hate a child for wanting to be single?

Is it a pedophilia thing? Are you defending Ameinias' point of view because you're a pedophile too?

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 1 point 5 months ago (7 children)

No one's dunking on the fictional asexual child, bud. Plus People aren't thinking about Greek mythology when they use the word.

Nice deflection at the end there, though.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 0 points 5 months ago* (6 children)

You're right, it's not about Greek mythology for most people. I accepted that you were an exception, because earlier in this conversation you claimed it comes straight from Narcissus. But I'm glad I changed your mind, and persuaded you that people aren't thinking about Greek mythology when they use the word. They're thinking about ableist portrayals of people with NPD.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago (5 children)

They're thinking about neither, dude. No one gives a shit where the word comes from

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 1 point 5 months ago (4 children)

The etymology informs the meaning. And the etymology is that a bunch of self-help books trained most people, including you, to be deathly afraid of a neurodivergent minority named after a queer child. Your entire understanding of NPD comes from pop culture ghost stories that you believed with all the gullibility of an easy mark.

If this were the 1980s you'd have just as easily been swindled into fear of the terrifying Satanists, and if this were the 1930s, you'd be falling for Hitler's rhetoric about "the Jews". "Oh, it's okay to call them heebs. It's punching up, since they control all the banks." You've been tricked into thinking a vulnerable minority controls society.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago (3 children)

No one gives a shit about the sexual orientation of a character from Greek mythology except you. Sounds like you based your entire opinion on a tumblr post titled "uhm actually, Narcissus was queer"

You're trying so hard to be the victim here and it's just not working. Because nobody is even thinking about the sexuality of, again, the FAKE PERSON whose sexuality is NEVER DEFINED from GREEK MYTHOLOGY.

You want him to be asexual so you can feel oppressed. Absolutely insane behavior. To quote the Germans: hobbyless behavior.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 1 point 5 months ago (2 children)

Lots of people gave a shit about his sexuality. Because according to the myths, everyone wanted to get in his pants, and Ameinias committed suicide after being rejected by him. Nemesis decided to make him fall in love with his reflection and die because he wouldn't date. And even Lord Byron, 2000 years ago, was talking about his sexual preferences. His asexuality is the central part of the myth. Nemesis cursed him to go from asexual to autosexual.

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[–] glimse@lemmy.world 0 points 5 months ago (1 child)

Wow well if Lord Byron thought something...

Just because you're obsessed with this doesn't mean everyone is.

Doesn't matter who he was before or why he was cursed. Narcissism refers to what happened to Narcisuss. End of story.

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[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 2 points 5 months ago

Okay, I'm going to believe you, for the sake of argument. I'm going to believe Narcissism is what happened to Narcissus.

When Narcissus was cursed, he died. He was too overcome by his emotions to survive. He couldn't function at any level. He couldn't drink water that was right in front of him. And it happened because of an intolerant and abusive society.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is the same. It's emotionally disturbing, it's disabling. It can cause executive dysfunction and even suicide. And studies have shown it's heavily associated with "adverse childhood experiences" - having been abused as a child. Like what happened to Narcissus.

In a slightly allegorical but largely literal sense, I agree with you; Narcissism refers to what happened to Narcisuss. And you should treat people with NPD the same way you'd treat that abused child from the old story: With compassion, any sensible person would hope.

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