As a cishet white guy myself, I have to agree... to a point. Part of being an ally at this point in time really is a matter of just shutting the fuck up and listening. Allowing our presence alone to be our contribution and support. Allowing others to speak and lead. Not trying to correct people or broadcast our opinions. If folks want to hear us they'll ask. If they seem upset at you as a proxy for our demographic, don't get defensive. It's reasonable for marginalized groups to hate and fear us. Take it on the chin. Change and healing takes time, you can't expect to walk into these spaces and get VIP treatment. You'll have to earn that.