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[–] 35 points 5 months ago (4 children)

"Let me do a check to see if I give you the right blood... Nope, not with a 5. Here's your blood orange juice."

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  • [–] 26 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 child)

    Satan: ”Ok, so you mispronounced beelzebub which would normally give you -2 on the summoning check. However, your virgin blood counts as a superior sacrifice material so it all cancels out. Now, lemme get my dice..”

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  • [–] 6 points 5 months ago

    I saw a comic recently where the evil cultist tried to sacrifice his virgin friend to gain power/favor from a demon. Only, whoops! The friend had lied about being a virgin, and the cultist was one. Cultist learned just what the hard way is on that one.

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  • [–] 1 point 5 months ago

    I can work with this. I summoned a dank pneumonia one time I was doing a ritual with gasoline in the snow. I'll just boof the blood orange juice and I guarantee whatever monster or dragon or giant cube of slime I'm fighting will be running for the hills after that!

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