Sorry, brother. 😞
If you're young still and unattached, unironically, you could join the French Foreign Legion and be useless enough you end up in the kitchen/office, riding that initial 5 year contract out. Having said that, I don't think Europe's future is too bright either, lol, so 5 years for another decade of stability might not be a good trade. Idk what I would do if I were an American with a soul in the middle of the decaying empire, but I know I'd feel alone and desperate.