they always told me that Islam spread by sword killing everyone who didn't convert,

then casually mention how much jews thrived in Al Andaluz, or how there were Jewish communities in Palestine that thrived there since the Roman empire collapsed. and Jews who were in Yemen for thousands of years. and Marroco....

Almost like despite a non Muslim tax, Islam was actually tolerant.

and it is modern Neocolonialism they pushes for theocratic dictatorships in arab countries to secure oil.

Both Islam and Christianity varied wildly in their approach by region. Islam certain has many 'conversion by the sword' incidents, some lasting centuries of brutality, and Christianity, likewise, has plenty of periods of co-existence.

One of the core issues, I think, is that we generally think of European Christianity, whose history is largely intolerant until the Protestant Reformation, and even after that often quite brutal; whereas Christianity in the East and in Africa very often included institutionalized coexistence with other faiths.