I don’t really know what to say, but thank you is a start, I might actually be a bit down.

This can happen to any of us. If you need help, seek it. There's no shame it in. We are not born with the tools to remedy everything. Many times we need to seek help outside of ourselves. Remember that life is worth living.

LEO is still in over 10-20k a cubsat no?

Nope! That same 1kg cubesat you're referring to can be put in Sun synchronous orbit (meaning always has solar power exposure) for $5k-$6k on a rideshare launch that launch every 3 to 6 months. Picosats and even Femtosats are all smaller and cheaper with some less than $1k (but you may have to wait years for a launch).

I went for a walk, touched grass, and remembered one of my old inventions that I never had the time to build (and my homemade 3D printer wasn’t up to the job, but my new store bought one is, probably).

I'm glad to hear this! You've obviously got some incredible skills and experience. I hope you're able to recapture your spark. It sounds like you're already on the path to doing so!