I didn't have too much coffee, you had too much coffee.
IP address: a machine's address on a network. Like a street address.
Port: a numbered door on that machine. The IP gets you to the building; the port gets you to the right room. Different programs listen on different ports.
DNS: the phonebook. Maps friendly names like example.com to IPs so you don't have to memorize numbers.
Router: the doorman between your home and the internet. Stuff inside can reach out; nothing gets in unless you tell it to.
Container: a sandboxed mini-computer running on your machine. Isolated by default. You map a host port to a container port to let traffic in.
Reverse proxy: a switchboard. One program that takes all incoming traffic and routes it to the right service based on the hostname.