I'm liking the idea of a grassroots terrestrial version of Rods From God: use utility poles (or sections thereof), launched from a pneumatic launcher hidden inside box trucks and/or trailers. Apply some good old kinetic energy to the right inputs/outputs/interconnections and we should be good.
But it might even be easier than that - use augers to target the data lines. I will admit I'm not sure whether such lines are typically underground, but that should be a matter of public record, no?