boonhet comments on She only wanted the ring bros

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 6 points 6 months ago (6 children)

Are you implying that the workday doesn't count for anything? Someone's gotta bring home the bacon.

When I was in the office, I'd be there for 8 hours, then get home and take over, then also work at night with the baby monitor on. My ex-wife only really had to take care of the baby that 8 hours a day, I handled most of the other 16. Of course she complained that I wasn't doing anything. So after that I started working from home for my main job as well. After that she only really had to take care of the kids (one mine, one not) for the 3-4 hours a day that I got to sleep.

permalink

fedilink

source

parent

hideshow 6 child comments

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone -3 points 6 months ago (5 children)

No. I'm saying that the working partner has a significant gap purely because they are working, so it's pretty spurious to claim you"re "caring equally".

permalink

fedilink

source

parent

hideshow 5 child comments

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 9 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Personally I actually cared significantly more on top of being the one who had to work a full-time job and side gigs, but my ex is a unique kind of piece of shit and I'm not trying to insinuate that this is a common experience.

But your original comment sounded like something my ex would say when she still allowed me to go to the office. "Oh you get to take a break for 8 hours." No I don't, that's still work, it's still very taxing mentally. If you work for 8 hours and then come home to take care of the children for the rest of the evening so your partner can have a break, there's only one person actually getting a real break. Of course if you come home and drop yourself onto the couch and expect dinner to happen, then it changes who the person getting a break is, but IMO that's not as common among young families these days, compared to a few decades ago.

permalink

fedilink

source

parent

hideshow 4 child comments

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone -2 points 6 months ago (3 children)

You're srill ascribing your ex a bit here i think. I know what employment is like, i've been treadmilling the rat race for nearly 40 years. Why do you feel the need to explain how mentally taxing it can be to another grown adult?

I never said work was a break, or intimated as such - simply stated that a work shift would remove the working partner from childcare for the period of the work day.

permalink

fedilink

source

parent

hideshow 3 child comments

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 7 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I dont think that is true tbh dads nowadays take care of babies as much as moms even after doing job and everything

If you’re ‘doing a job and everything’ then there’s an entire workday’s difference to begin with…

In the context of this thread, you're very clearly saying that the mom is always doing more because the workday is a vacation for the dad.

If that's not what you meant, maybe rephrase your comment, because that's what it reads like and judging by the 10 downvotes (none of which was me), I'm not the only one seeing it that way.

Because ultimately the meme was about moms not getting a break, and if the dad works all day and then goes and takes over the responsibilities at home for the rest of the day, then the mom is the only one ACTUALLY getting a break on any given weekday. And that's what most, though not all, young fathers seem to be doing these days. Maybe not in your corner of the world or when you were young, but as far as I can see, that's how it is these days.

permalink

fedilink

source

parent

hideshow 2 child comments

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone -2 points 6 months ago

Again, you're adding the definition of "vacation" to the work day.

I never did that. That's something you're inventing when I point out a work days hole in childcare.

(Also i've personally been using gender neutral language. Op referred to working dads, but my points extend to any variant of the dynamic across any partnerships where one works ad the other doesn't)

Downvotes on a thread like this mean nothing, btw - they're absolute nip to the redpilled trolls.