I have a brother who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, and while he's always been an absolute chud, it was a very radicalizing experience. He came back with PTSD and then started "self-medicating" with meth. He made our family's lives a living hell, like we were 24/7 911 operators, always waiting for the day he was going to act on his paranoid delusions. He finally went out to some innocent family's house with a gun and pulled on the cops who'd followed him and got shot in the arm. He's recovered somewhat, but still has relapses.
These experiences are the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me or any of my family. Still it pales in comparison to what he experienced, which in turn pales in comparison to what the people living in those countries experienced. My dumbass brother chose to go over there, but they didn't choose to be born there, and the casualty rates were so much higher for them.
People look at casualty rates (if they bother to) and imagine that that's the full price of war. But my brother isn't on any of those casualty lists, because his wounds were "only" psychological. The true scale of harm is literally incomprehensible.
I remember one night that I had come to visit and I went out to eat with my parents, thinking, hoping, that for one night things could be peaceful. Then the texts started coming in. Another crisis, more schizophrenic accusations, veiled threats, reading into every little thing. I remember the tears streaming down my mother's face as she tried not to make a scene at the restaurant.
Whenever I think about any of the people responsible for those wars, I take what I felt in that moment and multiply by a hundred, a thousand, a hundred thousand, by as much as I'm capable of, and it's still not enough.
The government and media do such a good job sheltering the public from what war really means. So many people just treat it like a movie or a video game because they know that more than they know about reality. The media rarely covers the human cost, especially of the other side. And so when I come on to Lemmy and vent about how war is bad and we should build schools and hospitals instead of tanks and bombs, people call me a tankie and accuse me of having some secret agenda. Because real life action movies are so cool, who could possibly have a problem with them?