To be fair I'm a lesbian so I def don't mind the boobs lol, but yeah it's a bit too frequent for my feed, haha.

What also helps is being on an instance that is explicitly affirming and welcoming to gals and queers. I often tongue-in-cheekishly use queer and furry presence as a canary. They tend to be super chill and whenever they're in some space, it's often a sign for me that it's welcoming.

The instance is important, because some defederate with a lot of the bad stuff by default. So that helps.

Another thing is PieFed, they have some anti-authoritarian features baked in, which is handy. Though I'm not a fan of the "often low score comments = comment not visible" element, that reminds me too much of Reddit.

Whether one chooses Lemmy, PieFed, or Kbin, all are valid in the long end - they're all part of the fediverse, that's the important one. It boils down to preferences.