The worse part is when you get so good at coping that others don't see the work that goes in just to function in a society built to your disadvantage.

Yes! And then whenever an online community springs up centering around solidarity, peer support, or advocacy pertaining to the common mental disorder, the same crowd who complains about avocado toast and rotisserie chicken get up in arms about "labels" becoming a "trend."

Like, no it's not a fucking trend. Some people deal with these illnesses every fucking day, and it's totally okay for them to talk about it online with other people who understand the experience. Outsiders looking in just think they're conforming to what the internet says about the traits, but the reality is that some people have these traits and have to live with them every day.

Clusters of traits get identified by researchers and standardized in the DSM, and that gives people the language and toolkit they need to understand themselves and talk about it with others. It's descriptive rather than prescriptive.

These descriptions pop up online because that's what some people experience. People aren't retrofitting their experience just to conform to an internet trope, like some folks claim. But someone who hasn't experienced that or been close to someone who has will never understand that.

And unfortunately, some people who are close to someone with a mental disorder are still skeptical and dismissive of them. It's really frustrating, and damaging too, because it's essentially gaslighting someone who's already mentally ill by saying they're actually fine and just need to stop being annoying, suck it up and "just be normal." For fuck's sake!