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What hill are you willing to die on even if no one in your life agrees with you? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 8 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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Water usage is probably my biggest. Living in a high desert, my wife and MIL see no problem with filling one side of the sink with hot soapy water to wash a few dishes because β€œthat’s just how I’ve always done it”, to watering the grass and plants for hours. All of this makes me mental.

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[–] 13 points 8 months ago (8 children)

I don't get this one. You started it going with the thank you. now they have to say your welcome.

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  • [–] 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (7 children)

    When you thank a cashier, that's the standard polite way to close the interaction and both of you understand you're not actually expressing gratitude to them for simply doing their job.

    Responding with "you're welcome" implies the settlement of a social debt (i.e., yes, I did you a favor and your gratitude is acknowledged) that wasn't part of that purely transactional exchange. It's an exaggerated response that comes across as presumptuous. You thanking the cashier doesn't indebt them, but their "you're welcome" implies that you owed them.

    BUT that's not their intent, they're just mindlessly saying it because that's how their manager or grandma or someone taught them to respond and they never stopped to think about it. So I find it mildly annoying, but I'd never point it out and neither of us wants that discussion.

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  • [–] 6 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    I mean, I'd argue that "Thank you" always implies acknowledging a social debt; if you don't feel there was a social debt someone just assisted you with, I probably wouldn't say, "Thank you."

    "Have a good day" would just as equally and politely close the interaction while not implying you were just assisted with a social debt.

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  • [–] 2 points 8 months ago

    "Have a good day" would just as equally and politely close the interaction while not implying you were just assisted with a social debt.

    I agree and I use that all the time.

    Even if "thank you" acknowledges a social debt then you're not indebting the cashier by thanking them. Being told you're welcome implies that you owed the cashier when they simply did their job.

    Anyway, apparently I'm in the minority on this and that's fine!

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  • [–] 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

    that is a very weird way of looking at it. "thank you" has always been a way of expressing gratitude.

    yes, they may simply just be doing their job, but at the same time you are also doing what you as a customer should be doing: place your items on the counter, pay, get your stuff, and leave. there's no need for you to thank someone; there's no need for any words of exchange.

    "thank you" may be a standard polite phrase, but so is "you're welcome" or "no problem". you were polite to them, so let them be polite to you by acknowledging your expression of gratitude.

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  • [–] -1 points 8 months ago (1 child)

    you were polite to them, so let them be polite to you by acknowledging your expression of gratitude

    But it's not an expression of gratitude in this context unless they did something beyond their job duties. Thanking them is just the universal polite way of ending the exchange and most customers do it. This interaction is routine and necessary to complete a purchase, and customers aren't expressing genuine gratitude just because the cashier did their job.

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  • [–] 1 point 7 months ago

    You expressed gratitude. You may not have meant it, but you've expressed it nonetheless. It doesn't matter if the opposite party deserved it or not; "thank you" is an expression of gratitude, and the only polite ways they have of answering that is "you're welcome" or "no problem".

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