Intense emotional pain I couldn't get away from, which lasted a very long time. The sense that I can't trust anyone. Mild psychosis where I would temporarily convince myself we would get back together, despite trying hard to accept it and not think this way, just getting my thoughts overpowered by emotion. The feeling that who I am as a person does not exist anymore. Briefly feeling less pain by finding reasons to be angry, but not being able to maintain that anger. Eventually the pain subsided years later when I forgot what it felt like to be around her. Still have nightmares sometimes though.