I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!

See??? See??? Take that, random collection of various people online over the coarse of 30 years telling me I'm an asshole! I knew I wasn't an asshole! Well, unless you try to hurt my family. Then I absolutely do fly off the rails and all hell breaks loose. THEN I become an asshole.

But in most times? I'm not the one parking my grocery cart dead center in the aisleway and dead staring at mustard as if I'm unfirmiliar with the core concept of mustard, but flip out if anyone tries to pass by.

Those people exist, and I've suggested that everybody be allowed to carry a wet fish. Then when someone is being an asshole, you slap them in the face with an old wet fish. Now while they're experiencing the innitisl shock and confusion over what just happened, you sweep the leg, rip off their sock and shoe, put them in an ankle lock, and tickle their feet for 30 minutes.

Bet they never pull THAT shit again! But state legislators won't even put the fish n' tickle bill on the ballots! Let the people vote!!!