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i just realised i might have an instinctive need to "yes, and". (feddit.nu)
submitted 9 months ago by to c/casualconversation@piefed.social
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i think i compulsively "remix" things. not in a musical sense, but in a conversational one. it doesn't feel to me like it's enough to just react: if i send a meme to a friend, they will usually respond with an emoji, but when they send something to me i feel this... pull to continue the conversation. the original joke is not enough, it needs to be riffed on. if i can't think of a witty comment for the thing, i often do not respond at all until i've thought of something.

what's more, when i meet someone in real life whose response to a thing is just confirming the meme/reference out loud, i get annoyed. i'm fine with it in text form (it's always fun to imagine someone chuckling looking at their phone), but when i make an allusion to a reference and someone goes "ah, " i feel like the conversation has just stalled. it makes me feel like i'm in the big bang theory and i have to pause for the laugh track. for some reason band kids do this a lot, don't ask me why.

is this... weird? i feel like it's weird.

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[–] 8 points 9 months ago* (5 children)

You just understand how a conversation more easily progresses and get annoyed when others don't/don't make the appropriate efforts. I don't feel like it's weird, or negative at its core, but I do think it's important to remember not everyone is so aware and conversationally competent, and they're not doing it on purpose or necessarily because they don't care that much, but simply because they're ignorant. Idk. 🤷

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  • [–] [S] 2 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    i mean conversations are usually devoid of references, which is why i think it sticks out so much. if i'm in a reference-heavy conversation i'm most likely talking to them about a niche topic where knowledge of references, and therefore the basis of those references, is assumed. maybe i'm subconsciously judging them as "not in the know"?

    this is obviously stream-of-conscience, but... am i mentally gatekeeping people?

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  • [+] 3 points 9 months ago (3 children)
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  • [–] [S] 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    perhaps, but it does feel like empty words in that case. that may be why people don't reciprocate.

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