You definitely have a point here. Software has to be usable if it going to have wide adoption by the people. Sometimes I see recommendations being thrown around without even thinking of it fits the needs and/or user expertise and willingness to make something work. But to be clear, just because one piece of software does not fit your needs does not mean it has to be changed to fit your needs. But if it is complex, clunkly and/or unintuitive, it is only going to be usable by a niche. And if this is the case, stop telling your grandma to spin a matrix server or xmpp and do not tell her she is an idiot because she does not have the expertise or time to make it work.