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Could I get some advice for a third date? (lemmy.world)
submitted 9 months ago by to c/dating@lemmy.world
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I’ve [28M] never been pass the first date, but some how made it to date three. I really want this to go well

I offered to pick her up and she said yes but I’m not sure what the etiquette is

When I pick her up do I open car door from inside, let her open it, or get out when I see her (give her a hug too? Not sure cuz first date we shook hands and second held hands for a little bit but didn’t hug or shake hands after that date) then open the door?

What about when I drop her off? Do I walk up with her and possibly give a hug? And can instead of that wait within 24 hours thing if things went well can I tell her I’d like to see her again then?

Also would new balance gym shoes be fine for an art gallery date? What about jeans and a flannel shirt?

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[–] 1 point 9 months ago* (5 children)

I would let her initiate any physical contact like a hug.

As others have said, get out of your car and ring the doorbell, then open the passenger door for her. These aren't strict rules, it would just be a general courtesy thing. It's best to pay attention to what she responds to, whether she prefers you open doors for her or not, etc. Ultimately this is about what works for her (and for you), and less about doing everything "right" (there is no universally right way to approach this).

Opening the door from the inside could feel like you aren't excited to see her, or can't be bothered to get out of your car to greet her. Letting her open it while you sit in the driver's seat similarly feels "chilly" like you're disinterested.

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 9 months ago (4 children)

    What if she lives in an apartment? Buzz her down?

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  • [–] 2 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    You could do that, or you could text her once you're there and wait beside your car? It depends on whether she usually gets your texts quickly ... you could also let her know when you're on your way and let her know you plan to text once you're there? That way she knows what to expect, and she has an opportunity to voice her preferences.

    But also these are small potatoes, maybe you're just overthinking it because you're anxious and don't want to "screw up"?

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 9 months ago* (2 children)

    Yup pretty much. We’ve been texting since last month and say things like “well hopefully we can flirt more often” or “hopefully we can learn more about each other” and I’m worried I’ll screw up despite the hints she would still like to continue further

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  • [–] 1 point 9 months ago (1 child)

    I get that; I guess it might be helpful to remind yourself that small mistakes or breaks in etiquette are rarely that impactful; also might be helpful to remember she seems interested and is continuing to text you and go out on dates - hopefully that creates some amount of security that small mistakes won't matter?

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  • [–] [S] 1 point 9 months ago

    It does I’m just both excited and nervous though Cindy I’ve never gotten this far lol.

    And I’m trying to be optimistic on the I believe good signs like her telling some friends she found someone she vibes with, saying hopefully I can pick her up on future dates, etc. (I feel I might be overthinking this as good)

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