Greentext

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[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I mean, we can imagine a counterfactual where the girl was even more insistant.

"No, anon, you're taking me on a date! I won't take no for an answer"

And then they go on a date. Anon is very awkward and has no idea what to do. But at the end of the date, she gives him a bj. Now what?

Well from her perspective, maybe, she did a good deed. She gave him some experience and confidence and set him on his way - hooray!

But from anon's perspective - being anon - he is in the same position, only worse. After all, for some reason he can't possibly understand, a girl went on a date with him and blew him, practically handed herself to him on a silver platter, and yet he still managed to fuck it up and didn't lose his virginity. What a hopeless loser he is (he thinks to himself) - even if he is just given the perfect chance, he must be so repulsive and terrible at sex that no woman will want to touch him once they get close enough.

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[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

That loser mindset is the issue, not the practice date. With a mindset like that, the rest is irrelevant because he'll just sabotage any chances by being too needy and demanding proof of affection or bouncing between hot and cold, either of which eventually drives the other person away.

Someone who is entirely repulsed by you won't offer a pity date and especially not a pity bj. They might decide they don't like you that much anymore based on the date itself, they might even try claiming they never liked you if they feel embarrassed, but I'd argue there were selfish motives hidden behind the "practice date" label.

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[–] CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago

👌

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I mean, I’m a 40-year-old virgin, but being asexual and sex-repulsed means I’m not desperate and needy.

However, the asexuality sadly disqualifies me for the wizard powers.

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[–] CallMeAnAI@lemmy.world 4 points 9 months ago

Sure, I'm dragging a wide net.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 9 months ago (2 children)

how can you feel bad about not having sex if you don't want to have sex?

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[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 3 points 9 months ago (1 child)

The world puts an unbelievable amount of emphasis on having sex as a mandatory aspiration. Most advertising is coded for either sex or hunger or fear. Most people are sexual people who frame things sexually, even subtly. Douglas Adams even once wrote that the basis of literally every construction and technology and artistic work on the planet was to impress someone of the opposite sex.

Needless to say, it’s hard to keep from internalizing some of this in some way. If you’d look at r/asexuality and the Lemmy asexual communities, you’d see a lot of people realizing “oh shit, I’m not broken!” after spending whole-ass years thinking they were.

There is still a small voice inside me that says I’m an idiot for not chasing sex. I can’t help it. Society is pervasive.

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[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 point 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

A lot of girls won't fuck me because I don't drive a 7 row luxury SUV and ask me if I'm homosexual or mentally ill for not doing so.

I mostly laugh at them. Are they 'society' or just stupid twats projecting their insecurity about vehicle size onto others?

That Douglas Adams fellow was a right twat. Just because he wants to fuck buildings doesn't mean the rest of us do. I'm content fucking my 10 year old hatchback. It has a dual exhaust... and it never once impressed a lady. It mostly impresses Suburu drivers who are all lesbians or aspiring lesbians.

Chasing sex can be fun. For a lot of dummies the chase is the point and the sex is the annoying dumb part.