How recent was this? If a relationship ends, grief is pretty normal. I really don’t know how you did „fuck it up“, but i know it it’s important to understand why you did that, what your limits are and what led to this.

You are neither crazy nor stupid because of this. Maybe it was a mistake (maybe not). This is okay, people learn from mistakes.

I really would like to know what you did, but of course, if you don’t want to tell that is okay.

It is important to accept the grief as what it is. You won‘t chance the outcome of this relationship, but you might be more aware of future mistakes and problems you might face.