I love to make really bad similes/metaphors like "I have the memory of a fish with very poor memory" or "I'm as tall as a tree thats my height".

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[–] 22 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

What do you call a fly with legs without wings? A walk.

Two men are lost in the desert weak from thirst and starvation. One of them spots something and says Hey man, there is a bacon tree over there! The second man says "no such a thing as a bacon tree, that's just a mirage", but the first is already running toward the tree. Just then, a hidden soldier under the tree shoots the first man with a machine gun. As he lay dying, he shouts to warn his friend: "it's not a bacon tree, it's a ham bush".

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