There are a startling number of dudes who don't wash their ass

I completely disagree. I think most people want to do something, but they don't have the means and opportunity to do a thing that fulfills them. I fucking HATE having a job. Coming to a place every day to do the same thing, it kills my motivation to do ANYTHING. The only reason I have one is to eat and to do the things I WANT to do. Usually pretty productive things, such as gardening, programming, repairs.

Those are all productive things. Things I COULD earn money for, but then they become work. I have to do them to survive, and so I no longer find the joy in doing them. If I could do them and not have to worry about bills being paid, I would by all accounts be a more productive member of society.

I don't think people are all that fundamentally different. We have some differences in preference, but when you get down to the basics the majority of people are pretty similar. Some will fall through the cracks or abuse the system, but by and large no one WANTS to be useless. That's a learned trait.

I would work literally any job if I knew I was genuinely helping my community become healthier, safer, and better able to enjoy life instead of the current system, where my labor only serves to put more money in the pockets of oligarchs.

objectively wrong

you do realize that many of the most vital and least pleasant jobs are only performed because people have immense amounts of empathy or inherently want to do them, right?

Or do you think nurses have good wages and working conditions? lmfao