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[–] 163 points 9 months ago (18 children)

Helllo I am from the future, the answer is yes only republicans are allowed to gerrymander.

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  • [–] 28 points 9 months ago (13 children)

    How far into the future? I need to know if I'm into dudes or not

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  • [–] 40 points 9 months ago (8 children)

    You’re into dudes in the future, but they’re cute and you’re passionate, and there’s gentle hugs while thoughtfully baking cookies. You’ll do alright.

    Politically, however, shit will be more fucked than ever.

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  • [–] 16 points 9 months ago (7 children)

    Wait, I'm the SpaghettiMan from Council Bluffs, IA. I'm not the one in Saratoga. Does this change anything?

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  • [–] 15 points 9 months ago (6 children)

    Says here in the book that you’ll have a happy gay relationship that borders on saccharine, and that your friends will be jealous of your adorable and stable homelife.

    However, the one in Saratoga will get three felonies because a heavy bookend connected with his husband’s head, flung across the room in yet another protracted dispute, and the medical examiner who saw Saratoga SpaghettiMan’s husband is a mandatory reporter. They were never meant to be.

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  • [–] 10 points 9 months ago (4 children)

    He was kind of a douche anyway.

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    They were made for each other in a special hell, and they’ll never have what you and your fiancé have.

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  • [–] 8 points 9 months ago (2 children)

    I will sleep easy tonight knowing what lies ahead. A dude in my bed.

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  • [–] 7 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    He’s pretty, a subtle feminine aesthetic. You were doubtful at first.

    Oh also, interesting to note in the future: after self-flying cars were legalized by Chairman X. A. E. Musk of the United States Board of Presidential Chairmen in ‘51, mid-air traffic fatalities octupled almost immediately. He wanted one, and you were so close to talking him out. Next time this conversation happens, mention the payment cycle and interest rate more often.

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  • [–] 4 points 9 months ago (3 children)

    You're NOT into dudes in the future. You're into bird watching.

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  • [–] 17 points 9 months ago (1 child)

    The Republican justices have already signaled that they probably won’t strike down California’s maps

    In fairness to the Court’s Republicans, they did suggest in their LULAC opinion that the Texas and California gerrymanders are mirror images of each other. The majority opinion in that case begins with the observation that after Texas drew its new map, “California responded with its own map for the stated purpose of counteracting what Texas had done.” Justice Samuel Alito, a Republican, also wrote a separate opinion stating that it is “indisputable” that “the impetus for the adoption of the Texas map (like the map subsequently adopted in California) was partisan advantage pure and simple.”

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