don’t even play records reliably

As compared to the one on the bottom, that might look like a junk plastic box from outside, but will most probably do what it does after swapping a few capacitors.

And still, said cheapest model is not significantly cheaper than the thing on the bottom.

So yes, I'm going with premium.

But of course, considering that you are the second person to refute my claim, I feel the need to state that I am going by the meaning of the marketing word, "premium" and not the original meaning.

Premium ⇒ functionally worth less than what you are paying for, in turn for form.
Yes.