The problem with being agnostic, is that there really isn't any reason to be.

There is no room for anything supernatural in any model of the universe that is taken seriously.

The field of Parapsychology has existed for over a hundred years and has never produced any results that cannot be explained by fraud, chance, or experimental error.

The field of Creation Science has existed for half as long and yet institutions that claim to represent it have no data that comes anywhere near to poking a hole in evolution, justifying a young earth, or most importantly providing any evidence for the hypothesis that the world seems designed by an omnipotent creator.

Instead they just cherry pick qoutes from real scientists and go "naw uh"

We consistently see that anyone with a supernatural explanation for anything in the universe is a charlatan at worst or naive at best.

This is consistent.

Everytime someone tries to prove God they use the same three arguments which fail every time.

1. Arguing that creation must have a creator - We can demonstrate that the world doesn't need a creator nor does it appear designed

2. Arguing that morals come from God - Morals do not come from God, one is perfectly able to have morality without God. The morality we have is not even consistent with what the Bible teaches as the Bible says Slavery is good and so is Misogyny, yet in every developed nation people tend to think these are not ideals one should strive for.

My morality is very subjective. It is based on the idea that causing harm is wrong, unless

The act of harm creates a greater good than not harming another. This includes forcing medication on someone who needs it but doesn't want it or defending oneself from an attacker. While my premise "Do no harm" seems objective, the exceptions are subjective. And there must be exceptions because Do No Harm is itself wrong in specific scenarios.

3. It is written in a sacred text that references real world history - 9/11 is a canon event in the Marvel Universe and New York is a real place, yet we do not see support for Thor's existence.

I would love for the spiritual to be true, but unfortunately the supernatural is a non-starter and admitting that is just a part of growing up.

I see a lot of myself in you friend. I too desperately clinged to an agnostic world view, hoping materialism was wrong and that if I just kept an open mind the wonders of the spiritual would appear before me.

I hate to say it, but you don't walk away with a smile on your face at the end of the rainbow.