PhoenixDog comments on Scissors

So I am married to my partner. Before I met them (They're trans/enby) they had a girlfriend for I think about 7 years? I married my partner. Since then I have two girlfriends myself and they've found a boyfriend on top of their girlfriend. So we both have two individual relationships outside of our marriage. And they're full on mono-like relationships. I love my girlfriends; emotionally, romantically, and sexually. We have sex outside of my marriage and everything is all on the up-and-up with my married partner. My partner is less sexually charged as I am.

So basically, I am married and have two other full relationships and my partner has two other full relationships that aren't me. And those relationships carry the same pros and cons as any relationship. I could be up late on the phone because something happened. One of my gf's dad got diagnosed with cancer so I've done my best to be emotionally available for her when she needs it.

Pan isn't just "Look at us and all the sex we have". If you think one relationship is a lot of work, we both have three lol.

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[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world -1 points 10 months ago* (4 children)

IDK what genitals you have so you may not be able to relate to the sexual aspect specifically as shown here, but do you never get tired of seeing the wild misrepresentation of what poly relationships are like in media?

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[–] PhoenixDog@piefed.ca 10 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Speaking just personally, I don't really care myself how Poly is represented. My polyqueue is a happy little dynamic and that's what matters. If media wants to say "haha look at us, we're poly" and it's just a bunch of group sex without the actual realization they are all individual relationships the same as mono ones, so be it.

Then again, poly in media is pretty under-represented. Lesbians in media are almost over-represented because of the ease of over sexualization of it. So I can totally understand your annoyance in the manufactured representation.

I suppose I came off a bit much in my first comment. I just know a couple lesbian friends who trib and they enjoy it.

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[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

It's a square/rectangle thing, really. Tribbing is absolutely a thing, scissoring as a specific type of tribbing (as it is represented in porn) really isn't.

I suppose I came off a bit much in my first comment.

I'll be real, it's pretty disheartening to get from a queer person the same kind of casual dismissal I get from (ex) my conservative-leaning relatives when correcting exhaustively common stereotypes about queer women. I'm sincerely glad you're okay with the common stereotypes of you though.

(also totally unrelated, but it's usually spelled polycule)

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[–] PhoenixDog@piefed.ca 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 child)

(also totally unrelated, but it’s usually spelled polycule)

Holy crap I didn't realize how badly I butchered that. I forgot the L for god's sake. How on Earth did I manage that?

Also, my apologies if I came off as attempting to dismiss your feelings about the topic. That wasn't my intention.

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[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Polyqueue is a deeply entertaining term for the more promiscuous ways to approach poly relationships which I'm absolutely using in the future so there's that lmao.

Also, thank you. It's unfortunate that your characterization of what I was doing seems to have colored the rest of the interactions in this thread, since correcting a common misconception really isn't a "well ackchually" but... that's just me whining into the void.

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