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People who identify as male/masculine, do you feel comfortable expressing your emotions/feelings to people irl? Do people who identify as female/feminine feel more comfortable espressing feelings? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world
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As a guy, I never really felt comfortable saying those things to anyone irl.

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[–] 12 points 10 months ago (7 children)

Coming from the Midwest I don’t think I ever felt uncomfortable expressing any emotions. I could kind of rattle off whatever I wanted to say without too much thinking.

But having lived in Los Angeles for roughly 10 years now I’m afraid to be open at all. When I first came here I was accused of hacking people’s credit cards twice because here knowing about computers means you’re a hacker. I learned to keep my mouth shut and become a robot; toxic/fake positivity is everywhere here and if you don’t play along then you’re quickly cast aside.

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  • [–] 6 points 10 months ago (6 children)

    I spent some time in the midwest and you nailed it exactly. People in the midwest aren't nice, they're fake nice.

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  • [–] 7 points 10 months ago (5 children)

    Sounds like they meant LA was worse 

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago

    I can believe it a bit. I feel like LA gets influenced quite a lot culturally from Hollywood, and it’s morphed into a lot of fakeness, a competitive atmosphere, and lots of people trying to front being wealthy or coming from money.

    I don’t think that’s everyone, but some of my friends that moved to LA struggled with the clicky-ness of the place and another I visited had friends that all were money focused and wanting to flex their wealth or their family’s wealth.

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago (3 children)

    Yes, initially I found Los Angeles much nicer but after time felt it was much more fake. You can’t really speak your mind here.

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago (2 children)

    Wait, you think the midwest is nice for real? That was not my experience at all. I got a lot of nice polite words to your face with a lot of being nasty when your back was turned. Not everyone was that way of course, but it was the very large majority

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  • [–] 2 points 10 months ago*

    Yeah I’m experiencing the complete opposite here. I remember being able to discuss actual topics and not talking shit every time someone turns their back in the Midwest. I don’t remember the last time I felt I could actually be myself here (California).

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  • [–] 1 point 10 months ago

    As someone who has lived in the Midwest, the biggest distinction is if I'm in a city, a suburb, or rural town. People in cities can't emotionally afford to be genuine to everybody they meet. Rural folk are suspicious of outsiders, but will help you hide a body if you're in the group. Suburbians can be a happy medium, at least in my experience.

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