Merry Christmas. It would be a really nice gift this year if you would talk to me. My transition was the last nail you needed to finish building that fence between us, ignoring my phone calls and messages, but you were never communicative on our best days either. I hear through mom you "don't understand" and she has placed the onus on me to bridge that gap, but I don't want to anymore. I can't keep reaching across the gulf alone.

I love you. I miss you. I miss what we never had. I only ever wanted you to see me, connect with me.

Are you proud of me yet?