See, a lot of people don't like to put the /s but sometimes it's required. I read it the way you meant it, but I could easily see how people wouldn't see the satire, as it's a bit on the nose. If you wanna do satire or sarcasm, you really should throw in at least one part that is truly absurd to let people know it's not actually defense, or throwing quotes around it if you're wanting to be more subtle. Also you need more exclamation points if you're going to mock the right.