I cannot help reading that to myself with a thick Indian accent.

See, it came to me in the voice of The Music Man.

"Yessir! Genuine, on-time, serves you wine when you dine. This here's gonna be a package you'll be thrilled to receive. Just 48 hours and its all yours, sign on the dotted line, no that's just fine. Here, here, and here, good sir. You've got excellent penmenship and a smile to match."