For the dysphoria, I know it can feel crippling and make you want to give up. For some trans folk, it takes a lot of daily work to present how they feel. It can be really hard to want to keep it up when you feel like it’s still not enough. I’ve been there many times.

However, the best thing you can do to drive back the dysphoria (and depression in general) is to take those steps—put in the work and do the things that bring you euphoria. It may not get you to where you want to be, but it’ll get you a whole lot closer, and every little bit helps.

It might help to identify, specifically, what about your body/life is bringing you dysphoria. Start with small things. That way you can make some concrete goals to work on rather than the big nebulous cloud of “I look wrong and I don’t like it”.

Also, I don’t know your life, but I suspect there might be more contributing to your depression than dysphoria. It’s definitely worth some introspection to identify and work on those other areas of your life. ADHD especially often comes with a whole host of (treatable) struggles that make life in our society extra challenging.