>Be british.
>Food on my island has no flavor.
>Conquer half the planet looking for spices.
>Accidentally find tea leaves along the way.
>Adopt tea as national drink.
>FFW
>All the brits with ambition and ability don't want to return from conquered lands.
>No one on this inbred island brave enough to cook with spices.
>Emprie crumbles.
>Travel to former colonies to experience sun and flavor.
>They let me enter for some reason.
>Go to hotel.
>It's not like home.
>wtf