Please really do watch out with the weed. Especially for people with ADHD it's an insanely slippery slope. I know empty words are hard to get motivated over and it might seem like the only way you can function for now, but I had to go through all that; It's gonna get to a point where you consistently break the rules you set for yourself so you can be perpetually high while the effect subsides more and more and then all you have left is to quit cold turkey.

I sympathize. Weed is bad for focusing, but good for helping me sleep when the Shame thoughts come. And at its peak I was drinking around 1000mg of caffeine via coffee a day and I still was barely functional. It took me at least three years to find a company that would take my insurance and also do the testing. Now that I have my brain drugs I don't think I can go back. And it's giving me mental space to work through the old traumas, which means less weed to sleep and less often. My goal is to not be reliant on cannabis or antidepressants, hopefully by the end of 2026. But I definitely need the medicine now so that I have the mental capacity to do the therapy work