Am I going insane?

I'm not ruling it out ;⁠)

Getting bought out by a private equity firm would be pretty dire for them as that never ends well, but that's not what I was talking about and I thought that was pretty clear, but you responded as though it was. 'Legally' they may be the same, but they're functionally very different, as the article I linked pointed out, but you chose to keep digging.

Whatever. You're right. Have a cookie.