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why speak to a professional when shitposting is free rule (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago by to c/196@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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[–] [S] 191 points 1 year ago (5 children)

It's not entirely my story to tell so I'll keep it vague.

It turned out a guy I considered my family groomed someone he met through me. His victim recently confided in me what he did to her years ago. I believed her so I confronted aforementioned "best friend" who spent more energy trying to gain sympathy over how he was "in a dark place" and that's why he did what he did than acknowledging that he did something absolutely despicable. I kicked him out of my place and told him he's dead to me. I'm still in the fallout of the whole situation.

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  • [–] 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

    Hey man, for what it's worth, I can empathize with your situation, and I know it's really hard to do this.

    I blew up a close knit friend group because 2 different guys in it turned out to be extremely shitty. One did something very similar to what your ex friend did and the other was a controlling abuser.

    After the dust settled, the neutrals in the group kinda reformed it without me, and disgustingly, from what I know they kept the 2 assholes as friends as well. They all choose to look passed what happened to this day.

    It's going to hurt for years. It's going to be lonely, but you did the right thing and you have to remember it. You will be confronted socially with being an adversary and that makes you feel wrong and like an asshole, but you aren't.

    I still have a hard time with it. It was my core friend group of what I thought was ride or dies and I'm not in it anymore, because I had had enough and spoke up. I got punished for it.

    There will be whirlwinds of emotions and is okay to feel all of them.

    I'm sorry this happened bro

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 1 year ago (1 child)

    Thanks man. I appreciate this. Sorry you went through that. I think the thing I'm mostly conflicted about the feeling of "mourning." I don't want this dude back in my life but it does suck that I don't have a best friend any more. I'm already introverted as it is, so making friends has always been tricky. Now in my late age, I think I'm just going to be going the rest of my life without that sort of relationship ever again.

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  • [–] 5 points 1 year ago

    Mourning is absolutely the right word for it. It's the death of a relationship and of an era for you. Just because the individual isn't actually deceased isn't going to make it hurt any less.

    For me I definitely felt a lot of that, along with anger and betrayal, sadness... Frustration.

    If you want to vent about it feel free to dm me.

    I hate that I don't have friends like that anymore, even though I know I did the right thing. I sucks so fucking much

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