I think this is an excellent question. People often forget about threats to families/friends, and only consider their own lives.

It's of course very context-dependent and I'm sure different people have different beliefs. For example, if your friends and families are ardently against the government and would be willing to risk a lot, and you are having an impact, you might just ignore the threats.

And in a way I think if more people think like that, it's best, as that makes blackmail to friends/family worthless.

In most other scenarios, I would give them one chance. After all there is other good that can be done in this world. However, if they show that they can't be trusted. I'd consider that I have nothing left to lose, and go hard.