So personally, I'm not seeking the diagnosis. AuADHD is hard enough to experience, I don't want people to also be able to use it as an excuse with me. I know my limits.

People have asked me for years, assumed I was, and when my ASD friends find out I'm not diagnosed are legitimately shocked. For 20 some years I've been in denial about the extremely obvious signs because I wanted to fit in.

I have a very hard time accepting anything, but I have a harder time rejecting clear patterns, evidence, external observation, and introspection. Honestly, thats been more valuable to me than a diagnosis. The diagnosis would just confirm what I know, not how I'm going to go forward.

So instead I can ask a therapist directly: "how do I stop wasting energy trying to fit in, when fitting in is expected?"