Sorry I didn't mean it like that, my brain isn't operating at 100% cpu right now, its hard to think clearly with depression.

About 2 decades ago I was a fetus and a government ruling over 1/7 of the world's population came after me before I was even born (See: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy#Enforcement). I was the second one born in my family, my existence was illegal. Then they tried denying me the legal documents like a birth certificate.

Then later my older brother started being abusive towards me and he tied me up at home using zipties and watched me suffer. He would've been the only child had my parents followed the government policy, but then I came into existence and he didn't like that my parents had to split their attention, so that's why he was torturing me. It got so bad that one day, I ran away from home once, then later my own mother told me she would not miss me if I was gone. Then the family (I'm saying "the" family instead of "my" family, because I don't feel like I was ever part of it) moved to the US, and I was promptly facing racism and xenophobia, my fellow Chinese American classmates didn't defend me either. People would exclude me, and I once overheard kids talking shit about me behind my back. Then when I defended myself against a bully, I was the one that got arrested. School admins decided to be a dick, I was a minor for fucks sake, and it was fucking SELF-DEFENCE.

Now my adopted country's government declared war on non-whites. My previous country is already a failed dictatorship. I have no where to go. Which is why I feel like this is a torture chamber designed to punish me.

Less of "attention" more like notoriety. Everyone hates me for some reason.