I didn’t have a particularly negative connection with my given name, and I always liked the people I knew I shared it with. Some of them role models and mentors, some of them ancestors, and even the saint I shared a name with was oddly fitting, even though I’m not religious. I wanted to honor that connection while also taking the chance to reconnect with my family’s ancestry and the language of that land, on top of picking a more femme name. I started researching names from the language of my ancestors but eventually broadened my search to the geographic region as there is pretty heavy overlap between names in the languages of the region. While I was searching I happened to read a book by an author with an unusual name that looked familiar. I realized I had glanced at it in my searching and I took it as a bit of a sign. I researched the name, found it not only is explicitly the femme version of my given name, but its meaning also worked very well. On top of that I like the letters that are in it slightly more than my given name.

Sorry to never actually reveal the name. It’s odd enough I’m pretty sure with that and my post history across the fediverse you could dox me.