I knew a guy who had a mild (but noticeable) deformity and was also gay. He was at a friend's house and the friend's mom asked him "did you choose to be gay?" (or some form of that question). The mom was genuinely trying to understand more and it wasn't ugly... she just didn't know any better

His response was great; "I already have this 'deformity' that makes my life hell in school, why would I ever choose something that would make my life any harder?"

And the mom gained new understanding that day— never questioned it again